Even if it Kills Me
by CoralFlower
Summary: Kabuto is captured and tortured. Orochimaru rescues him and they talk. This is not romantic. They are not in love. Contains graphic descriptions of torture, but you can skip that if you want :)


Strangled cries echoed throughout the dark prison. Kabuto was cold. And They were coming for him. He knew it, he knew he would be next, They were just about to open the door, just about to take him back into that room, back into that hell. Back to the pain, the torture, back to watching his mouth, back to the—He heard a creak. The door was—No, just Kabuto's mind playing tricks on him. He was so out of it, seconds were feeling like hours, and he half wished They would come back, if only so that the waiting would stop, it was unbearable. The door creaked open, for real this time, and They dragged him out, his limp form not even pretending to resist; he was saving his energy to keep from screaming later. Kabuto felt his aching muscles protest each time They dragged him over a bump in the corridor. He heard the other door open, and the bright light assaulted his eyes as he was strapped to the table, and They were all there, A, B, and C, he didn't remember their names, so that was how he kept track of them, and A grabbed a wicked sharp knife from the wall and held it against Kabuto's leg.

"Tell me one thing, and I won't do what I'm about to do." Kabuto didn't bother to reply, but this time A didn't seem to be satisfied with his non-answer.

"I want you to watch this. Hold his head up, don't let him look away." Kabuto ignored the not-at-all gentle hands pushing his head up, but when he saw that knife, when he saw the pain it would cause, for the first time he wondered if it was worth it. The knife slowly dug into his skin, and he was forced to watch, as the top layer of his skin was slowly shaved away. It was surreal, and that drove Kabuto to speak, for the first time in days.

"Wh-wh-wha- ahh, wh- kh, ahhhh," and then Kabuto clamped his mouth shut, horrified at himself for showing weakness.

"What were you saying? Tell me one thing, that's all you have to do to make this stop. So easy, Kabuto," Kabuto winced at the lack of –san or anything, "it would be so easy to make all of this stop…" Something about A's voice was suddenly very aggravating, and Kabuto had a sudden urge to talk back.

"I'll bite my own tongue off before I even speak his name to you." SLAP. One of them had slapped Kabuto across the face. A spoke again.

"Hey now, I'm in charge here. You made the knife slip, look." And indeed, there was a trickle of blood now running down Kabuto's leg. C, who had done nothing at all to gain any special attention from Kabuto until then, (B was quick to anger, A was in charge) nonchalantly licked some of the blood from Kabuto's leg. Kabuto would have jerked away if he were able. A reset the knife in Kabuto's skin.

"This will continue until you decide to cooperate. You may as well end it now. Of course, unless you're afraid of what your master will do if he comes back for you and you've betrayed him." Kabuto knew that A was just trying to get under his skin, (metaphorically, of course, as he had already done so literally) but it was working, and he felt the need to say something, anything.

"He won't be coming back." A shook his head condescendingly.

"What makes you think that?" Kabuto glared up at him, the first real emotion he had shown since arriving here, and said in a scathing tone,

"You don't understand at all. He won't be back. I am completely replaceable." A and B exchanged looks.

"Fascinating. He demands your loyalty, but abandons you to torture, and you don't seem bitter about it at all." Kabuto laughed mirthlessly.

"Why would I be bitter? I'm just glad to have done something useful for him."

"Your loyalty is unfounded."

"Unfounded? It's not something I'd expect you to understand."

"Try me." It had stopped being a matter of torturer versus prisoner, and was now something more like human versus human. Kabuto allowed himself a smirk before delving into his life story.

"I was tricked into killing my own mother, thinking she was a random traitor. She had orders to kill me, having been tricked into thinking someone else was me. We were meant to take each other out. When I tried to heal her, she didn't even recognize me. I am loyal to him because he accepted me and gave my life a purpose after all that. So you can't call me a traitor, as your village betrayed me." Kabuto and A stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, and then A was back to his old self, dragging the knife up Kabuto's leg, as Kabuto clenched his teeth together and tried to keep his legs from tensing up. He would die here, if he had to. A suddenly pulled the knife out.

"This isn't working. Get me a blindfold and my whip." Kabuto struggled to keep his expression placid, but felt his nostrils flare slightly despite. A saw, and chuckled.

"It looks like something is finally getting to you." He accepted the blindfold and whip from B and wrapped the cloth around Kabuto's eyes. Kabuto couldn't see, and he did not like it at all. He heard the whip crack, and was unable to keep from flinching. He heard them laughing. The whip cracked again, and Kabuto felt the sting on his shoulders. The next crack landed on his chest. A continued whipping him, and it hurt, it hurt so much, but Kabuto was not going to give in. Finally, A stopped, and Kabuto let himself relax, but then he started again and this time, Kabuto yelped. It felt like hours before the blindfold was taken off him, but he still felt the stinging, and he had to close his eyes for a second because of the light, and A was saying something, he really should listen, but then They were undoing the straps and dragging him out of the room, and when he was back in his cell he finally let himself go to sleep.

Kabuto woke up in a bed. He opened his eyes and saw the stone walls and ceiling of the hideout, and someone was sitting in a chair next to the bed he was in. The person stood up, and asked,

"How are you feeling?" Kabuto squinted at the person who looked like Orochimaru, confused at what was going on. Suddenly, it hit him. This was a genjutsu, or possibly they had reproduced the hideout and had someone henge as Orochimaru. He looked around for something sharp. Finding nothing, he chewed off one of his fingernails. Not a genjutsu.

"Hey, why did you do that? You need to heal, Kabuto-kun." Alright, now he needed to get the Orochimaru look alike to do something only Orochimaru would be able to do, or ask a question only Orochimaru would know the answer to.

"Orochimaru-sama, I have a question. Who are we trying to find to heal your arms?"

"Tsunade." Kabuto relaxed.

"It's really you."

"Yes."

"You came back for me?" Orochimaru smiled slightly.

"Of course, Kabuto-kun. I couldn't just leave you there, my most loyal servant." Kabuto raised an eyebrow.

"But you could have just tra—"

"Are you questioning my decision, Kabuto-kun?" A frown was now making itself apparent on Orochimaru's face. Kabuto idly contemplated his master's ways of expressing emotion. Emotions did not change his expression as much as with other people, but that somehow made them seem more genuine.

"Of course not, Orochimaru-sama. I apologize, I'm sure you had a reason."

"I did, in fact, have a reason. Would you like to know it?"

"If you wish to tell me, I will listen."

"I need you. I need someone who is completely loyal to me, who will do what I say without question. That's one of the reasons I keep you around. But I want to know why you stay."

"You- you gave me a purpose, something to live for, an identity of my own. I was so lost before, but now I can feel happy again. And anything I can do for you, to attempt to repay what you've done for me, will be done, even at the cost of my own life." Orochimaru frowned again.

"What did I just say, Kabuto-kun?"

"That you need someone completely loyal to you, who doesn't question your orders."

"Correct. And you are the only one who fits that description."

"I am, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Yes. Now what do you think happens if you die?"

"Well… There wouldn't be anyone left who was entirely loyal to you."

"Right. So you need to put your life before everything, unless I explicitly say otherwise. You have become more valuable to me than anything else."

"Wow. Really?"

"Really." Kabuto grinned suddenly.

"Just to clarify, you need me to stay alive even if it kills me?"

"Exactly."


End file.
